Animal conservationists and comic book nerds alike are abuzz today after this morning’s surprise sighting of the first Wolverines to return to the Washington State Convention Center since last year’s Emerald City Comic Con.
“It looked like two little ones, and then one … how do I put this … rotund one,” said Convention Center employee Jarvis Davies while keeping an eye out for more with his binoculars. “He was a big ol’ boy. But they was definitely Wolverines. I’ve watched the X-Mens.”
UW Anthropomorphology Professor Synthia Heimlick said sightings like these are extraordinary, especially during a Covid-era mating season with none of the usual gatherings of Jean Grey, Storm or Mystique tails in sight.
“These are solitary creatures we’re talking about – cosplayers are normally seen out of their homes only during convention season,” said Heimlick. “Our data shows only about three dozen wild Wolverines still exist in all of Washington state but, much like Logan after deploying his Adamantium claws, nature is healing.”
After some investigation, we contacted local cosplayer Mike Friendship via Teams chat.
“Yeah that was us out there all right. We just wanted people to know how much New Mutants sucks,” Friendship said. “With that out of the way, we’ve now returned to our dens to scavenge OkCupid in hopes of at least finding Dazzler or Squirrel Girl are available for dinner sometime.”
