Dismissing claims that his support for excessive police and military force on Seattle’s Capitol Hill is hypocritical given his dislike for ‘big government,’ Trump supporter Don Scaggs says he’s really just concerned about the safety and liberty of the city’s most homoerotic neighborhood.
“Gosh, when I think about everything the LGBTQ community has already been through, I just think they deserve top-notch, Big Brother-level security to protect them from people also still fighting for their basic human rights,” said Scaggs, in a phone interview from his home in Cle Elum. “When I see those Black Lives Matter protesters with their pink umbrellas, candles and little girls, I’ll tell ya, even from 100 miles away I’m quaking in my boots. For some reason even I can’t understand, my friends in Kansas say they’re scared too!”
Utterly wracked with worry throughout the last two months of heavy protests in the neighborhood, Scaggs says he wonders what will come of its historically gay AF identity should protests fighting for the human dignity of all Black people continue.
“These people are being pressured to care about LGBTQ rights and Black rights all at once – it’s too much,” Scaggs said. “What’s next? Women’s rights at the same time? I just hope police casually tossing chemical weapons out on the street like candy are helping the residents of that poor neighborhood feel safer.”
At press time, Scaggs was writing a letter to RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Jinkx Monsoon to make sure they were okay.
