A neighborhood is in shock tonight after witnessing a White Ballard woman instantly fall to literal pieces when a neighbor suddenly handed her a copy of Robin DiAngelo’s book White Fragility.
“I didn’t mean to shatter her, really I didn’t,” said Jenny Willard, the neighbor responsible for handing the book to 62-year-old Karen Miller. “It’s just that every time I tried to bring up how important it is that we all become aware enough of our racial biases to begin dismantling them, she seemed to think it was the end of the world. I thought this book might help her see otherwise, but instead she dramatically shattered into countless pieces on the ground. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
Still somewhat conscious and weeping as she lay on the concrete in broken shards, Miller shrieked from the top of her lungs about how thoughtless her neighbor was for recommending such a book.
“I have a Black Lives Matter sign in my yard, I posted a black square on Facebook – what more do you want from meeee?! Miller cried for everyone in a half-mile radius to hear. “The audacity to even imply I am not already 100 percent free of all racial bias despite growing up in one of the whitest cities in America while redlining was still legal here. How dare you …. Of course even questioning such things would destroy my delicate porcelain exterior. How dare you …”
Local residents are calling on Miller’s neighbor to apologize for disrupting the peace by being “so political.”
“She really needs to take this kind of conversation elsewhere, away from people just trying to enjoy their white privilege in peace,” said Tad Jenkins while trying to reassemble broken pieces of Miller. “It’s like Jenny has no respect for how long Karen’s been trying to outrun genuine participation in one of these conversations – an entire lifetime! Give her a break and just back off. Let’s get back to talking about what counts: That suspicious looking black guy my wife saw on her walk last night.”
After a copy of Ijeoma Oluo’s So You Want to Talk About Race slipped out of someone’s backpack nearby, Miller was further pulverized into dust. She’s expected to make a full recovery upon watching Crash tonight.
