Another day of peaceful protesting against police brutality unfortunately broke into a riot today, says Seattle Police Department Incident Commander Covered Badge, when a purple bobby pin violently tumbled out of a female protester’s hair.
SPD promptly shot flash-bang bombs and tear-gas canisters at hundreds of people, including the chest of an Asian reporter on live television.
“We know the majority of people were protesting peacefully, but unfortunately there was a very dangerous contingent of women there who don’t know how to safely secure pins in their hair,” said Commander Badge. “That pin could’ve dropped from a grenade – you never know and you can’t be too careful. I’m just glad I had my hairpin trigger.”
Seattle Police Chief Carmen Best praised her department’s gracious and harmonious knee-kneeling with protesters right before the riot, despite many peaceful protesters saying the police may have acted less than professional afterward.
“We encourage anyone with video that makes it immediately obvious that our officers did something wrong to send it to our Office of Police Accountability, where they will promptly take months to hope your anger and focused attention about what probably really happened has subsided,” said Best. “I promise if they find that anything bad happened, I will put out a statement about how we need to do better, but not much else – not unless the Seattle Police Guild lets me. It’s what George Floyd would have wanted.”
Mayor Jenny Durkan echoed praise for the department’s handling of the city’s protests.
“This is exactly why I’m in favor of ending the consent decree placed on the Seattle Police Department in 2012, when the U.S Department of Justice found the department had a pattern of practicing unconstitutional police force,” Durkan said. “My oh my how far we’ve come.”
