Local California transplant Jenny Silverlake is still in shock tonight following an evening walk in which a Seattle-born neighbor voluntarily waved and greeted her with full eye contact.
“I don’t know if killing the Seattle Freeze is one of those strange new coronavirus symptoms or what – but it freaked me the fuck out. I ran away as fast as I could,” said Silverlake, who moved to Seattle from LA five years ago. “It took me years to accept I was never going meet anyone here who voluntarily initiated social contact, and I’ll be damned if someone like that gives my withered spirit hope of it ever happening again.”
Silverlake says she’s been noticing several other strange behaviors in her neighborhood too.
“Two neighbors who I’ve lived by for years – two! – introduced themselves to me last week and even told me their names – all on their own! Honestly, I was too taken aback to look up and see if they were looking directly at me,” Silverlake said. “They asked me how I was doing – like how I was really doing as if they actually gave a shit. They asked if I needed anything like toilet paper or food. As if 2020 needed to get any stranger …”
At press time, Silverlake was reportedly having a panic attack after witnessing everyone on her street coming out to cheer for a neighbor’s car parade birthday party.
