An attention-starved Yorkie’s hopes for love were dashed again today when his owner spent the entirety of another post-workday walk around Maple Leaf Reservoir Park scrolling through an Instagram feed.
Onlookers expressed dismay at 28-year-old Kayleigh Armandson’s inattention to the fluffball, who appeared to attempt diverting her attention toward roses, friendly people and or any general awareness outside the ludic loop of her Instagram feed, thirst-trap stories and DMs.
“I just wish she could be more present with me,” said Ivan, a stay-at-home dog. “Me and the other dogs trapped in neighboring apartment cells all day have tried staging interventions by howling Lizzo’s Cuz I Luv You album in its entirety and, still, nothing.”
An attempt to reach Armandson for comment was unsuccessful, as she was too engrossed in her new finsta account to register what was happening around her.
“Omg I have to have that dress,” she murmured as she liked each of fashion influencer Danielle Burnstein’s posts.
When they slowly came to a stop in the middle of a sidewalk, forcing pedestrians to weave around them, Ivan wagged his stubby tail in anticipation of his first meaningful human contact in days.
Instead, he was suddenly pulled away as Armandson resumed walking straight into a street crosswalk without looking at anything but her phone.
“This dress on her — I’m ded. DED!”
