According to inside sources, certified crazy people Shyan Burke and Mikaela Hopkins of Fremont have already headed up to the mountains this weekend to “get back to nature.”
Fellow Fremont resident Ruby told The Needling that she overheard the engaged couple’s plans while taking their order in a local coffee shop Friday morning.
“They were chatting about the Discover Pass and which sleeping bags to bring like it was a perfectly normal thing to do out in freezing temperatures – maybe even snow?” Ruby whispered in pained tones. “I mean, they’re insane, right? It’s supposed to be in the low 40s up there with an 80% chance of rain. That’s just miserable!”
Instagram stories by Hopkins confirm that the pair have indeed taken their 2008 Subaru Outback into the Olympics. More chilling still is Hopkins’ claim that they do this every year, further confirming Ruby’s hypothesis that the couple is absolutely insane.
Hopkins and Burke could not be reached for comment, presumably because they are busy being what the couple was overheard describing as “unplugged” and “present.”
“It’s hard to realize that there are crazy people like this everywhere, even a nice place like Fremont,” Ruby said while pulling an espresso. “I have no idea what I’ll say to them on Monday. I guess I’ll have to ask how it went. That’s so scary. Hopefully I can find a diagnosis for whatever they have in the DSM over the weekend.”
Ruby asked we not include her last name due to concerns for her safety, stating that she has “no idea what else these people are capable of.”
