Neighbors who had eagerly anticipated avoiding any social interaction whatsoever with new prospective Seattle renter Russ Hastings were pleasantly surprised to hear news today that he had already left.
Local Seattle historian and moss farmer Gil Sturgeonson offered some perspective.
“Back in the day, we had seasonal workers moving through and maybe staying 24 hours sometimes,” Sturgeonson said. “But negative hours? Strange. And worth studying for replication.”
Landlady Laura Lott agreed.
“He phoned to say that although he was expecting to get in town in just a few days, he was also already packing up and leaving,” said a puzzled Lott. “Isn’t that just changing where you’re going? I just don’t get these people coming from elsewhere.”
By press time, Hastings was able to offer some clarification on what really happened.
“You know, I was really looking forward to moving to Seattle,” said Hastings while driving en route to Portland. “But after a while, I just got tired of it. Didn’t make any friends either.”
The Seattle Visitors’ Bureau recommends that out-of-towners staying zero or fewer days should always skip the Space Needle and the Big Wheel, as well as the Post Alley gum wall if they have time.
