After waking bright and early at approximately 1 p.m. today, organizers of Seattle’s flagship cannabis culture event smeared away eyecrust to finally announce Hempfest 2019’s festival schedule and entertainment lineup for last weekend.
“We’ve got a great lineup in store for last weekend’s festivities, and we’re especially looking forward to watching Sage Duggan and the Dusty Green Overall Boys perform last night,” festival organizer Herb Franklin cheerfully mumbled from a University District co-op’s front porch while tying the drawstring of his hemp slacks. “In addition to providing wonderful entertainment across three stages, we’re thrilled to announce that we have already presented a series of fascinating guest speakers meandering through extremely long, unfocused speeches.”
Franklin noted that, as always, education was a top priority at the event.
“With topics ranging from ‘How To Weave Your Own Lightweight Hemp Bike Frame’ to ‘Staving Off The Inevitable Strangling from Corporate Marijuana Monopolies For Like, 1-2 More Years Tops,’ we’ve ensured that there’s an educational opportunity for everyone,” Franklin said as he closed the press conference with a bong hit.
Tickets to the long-standing
festival were available for purchase by the
‘Cash, Grass or Weekend Pass’ system.
