Fremont Solstice Parade organizers say bright route decorations are set, naked bodies are painted all colors of the rainbow, and the only thing left to do is get those free-loving artistic juices flowing over hundreds of bike seats.
“We’re excited about what we’ve got in store this year for both publicly shared and privately owned bike seats,” said Fremont Solstice Parade organizer Reilly Whatcom. “There’s glittered ass-juice, amethyst arousal ambrosia, and, our local favorite, fuzzy Fremont crotch-sweat.”
This morning, parade participants were bumming rides on a few bikes to prepare for showtime between 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. today.
“I’m going to need more lavender labia lubricant if this Limebike is going to work,” said Richelle Johnson as she hopped off and adjusted a pair of purple fairy wings.
While the parade is the main event, Whatcom says what he really loves is how the spirit of the event lingers on in the neighborhood like a nice musk long after it’s over.
“It’s like we’re left with this residue of joy we get to appreciate for the rest of the summer.”
