With a brilliant sunset in the works, 27-year-old Xavier Wilson declared nothing–nay, not even endless wafts of day-old human feces–could spoil his Friday evening Discovery Park date plans for new girlfriend, Betsy Lee.
“I thought I’d take her down to the lighthouse, sneak a couple beers onto the beach, catch the sun dying over the mountains,” said Wilson. “It’s the perfect way to take advantage of spring allergies that mostly block the smell of large pools of waste stewing nearby.”
As the couple nestled in for the sun’s glowing fade into the horizon, Wilson successfully refused to betray any olfactory discomfort to his date.
“I had to stay strong man,” said Wilson. “We’re still pretty new so I wanted to make it seem like I was having a good time. But, just wow.”
Lee said she managed to muffle and hide involuntary gags between requests to walk further down the beach.
When asked if she would come back to the park, Lee said, “Yelp reviews say sometimes it reeks and sometimes it doesn’t. So, yeah, I’d roll the dice again. At least the beer was OK.”
Xavier has even loftier goals.
“I’m building an app that tells people how bad it reeks and how good the sunset is,” said Wilson. “That way you know upfront whether to go or not.”
At press time, Xavier reported a sunset rating of “meh” and a smell rating of “WTF.”
