In an exclusive tell-all interview, Washington State Route 99 confessed to an overwhelming sense of self-defeat for never making it to 100.
“For decades, I’ve been serving the West Coast with adequate access to some major cities and still I’ve never gotten to 100,” said a tearful Highway 99 lying prostrate in her living room.
With the opening of the new tunnel through downtown Seattle, SR99 was hopeful.
“If I was going to have a moment to advance, this would have been it,” SR99 cried, “But I guess I never made it. I guess I wasn’t enough.”
SR99 named ongoing rivalry with younger, faster and more popular Interstate 5 as cause for its despair.
“As soon as the Ship Canal Bridge was erected in 1964, I knew I’d gone as far as I could,” 99 said. “There’s only so much you can advance until you hit the glass off-ramp.”
Things may be turning around soon, however: Word on the street is road trip queen California State Route 1 is looking to form a superhighway with none other than 99.
