Celebration filled the streets of Seattle as its foggier upperclassman, San Francisco, finally allowed the Emerald City to sit at their lunch table.
While seemingly overdue, the move has been hailed by Seattleites as confirmation that the city “is kinda like San Francisco, but, like, with its own attitude, you know?”
San Francisco reportedly offered a subtle but clear nod to a giddy and nervous Seattle that the empty adjacent seat was available for occupancy and hit it off immediately.
“Hey,” said Seattle while initially averting eye contact. “Thanks, just trying to get away from LA, you know?”
“Ugh,” San Francisco answered. “Believe me, I know.”
Guesses as to why the historically eclectic and metropolitan city where countless counterculture movements have originated decided to formally associate with Seattle are as numerous as they are varied.
“Have you seen the townhouses in Capitol Hill? It’s pretty much like living in San Francisco,” said barista and local band singer Sophie Jerkins. “Even rent here is pretty much the same.”
During the lunch, Seattle reportedly drew casual connections between the cities, including their love of food. Such claims included mentioning that while San Francisco has four 3-Michelin star restaurants in its vicinity, Seattle was in fact the birthplace of teriyaki as we know it.
The lunch concluded when San Francisco had to run which was totally “chill” with Seattle, who conveniently also had “other stuff they had to go to too.”
Queries have risen as to whether Portland will be the next to join the table to which Seattle has stated “I’ll run it by San Fran, but, like, it’s not lookin’ good.”
