A landmark study that’s flying in the face of conventional Seattle wisdom has found that tourists with umbrellas tested 37 percent higher in supercalifragilisticexpialidociousness.
“Although umbrella use in Seattle is usually something atrocious, we’re finding that tourists carrying them have always been really quite precocious,” said Theresa Jenkins, professor of Society, Ethics & Human Behavior at University of Washington Bothell.
Within seconds of popping open an umbrella, researchers say users suddenly yet briefly believe they have the ability to fly, summon melodic robins to their fingertips, and convince children that doing chores is fun.
Seattle residents like Tim Moore, however, say their views on umbrella use remains unmoved.
“You know what I think is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?” said Moore. “My only two eyeballs not being impaled by some unnecessary fabric and metal spring-loaded contraption.”
A control group of umbrella-less tourists eager to blend in with Seattlites tested lowest for the nearly indescribable and exhilarating emotional state, Jenkins said.
“Unlike Seattleites who have never used umbrellas, tourists without umbrellas seem to be keenly and painfully aware that a waterproof hoodie or plastic poncho is no replacement for temporarily believing one can speak to animated cartoon characters.”
