If the uniformly shocked and offended faces of Starbucks devotees at its surprise 2019 Holiday Cup unveiling Thursday morning were any indication, the company’s marketing team may have found its most inclusive Holiday Cup theme yet.
Images on next year’s cups are so vile that — regardless of gender, race or religion — all customers will be equally outraged, according to Starbucks Senior Marketing Manager Dee Daniels.
“After years of trying to please all guests with cute holiday sayings and festive designs that were always derided by different groups, we want to show that Starbucks cares about all its guests equally,” said Daniels. “It’s all about inclusivity.”
People of every race, religion and gender were seen throwing whatever was on hand at the event stage of the company’s SoDo headquarters.
“This is what Starbucks is all about,” said Daniels as she dodged a chair that narrowly missed her head. “People coming together and celebrating shared values — we finally did it! God bless us, everyone!”
