In an effort to make its polar bear exhibit as authentic as possible, Woodland Park Zoo officials are removing the fiberglass icebergs from their polar bear exhibit.
“The bears haven’t taken the change well,” said zoo spokesman Zinko Bobinko. “But we believe if we’re going to jumpstart a conversation about climate change, we’re going to have to depress the hell out of some bears.”
Since the removal of the icebergs from their habitat, the zoo’s two polar bears, Ice Cube and Diet Coke, have taken to sunning themselves, albeit forlornly, on a muddy pile of rocks in their enclosure.
What does the zoo plan to do to address the bears’ despondency?
“We might shave them,” Bobinko says. “Or put them in tiny red t-shirts and give them pots of honey. We’ll figure something out.”
