Hope is fading fast for one man who is wondering if he’ll ever be able to enjoy sucking down a bag of Dick’s again without reprisal.
Ever since the #MeToo movement took down his comedic idol, Louis C.K., Hoff says he’s unsure of how he can proceed stuffing a bag of Dick’s in his face-hole without being slapped.
“I feel like all it takes is one false move now and you’re done in this world,” Hoff said. “I want to eat my fries and cheeseburger at my own pace without someone accusing me of being inappropriate. I’m so scared of the proper way to do anything now.”
Some of Hoff’s friends see things differently.
“Dude, that joke is old and it was always sick — slow the fuck down when you’re eating, okay?” said friend Tom Hardon. “No one likes to see friends choking on a bag of Dicks.”
Hoff said if things don’t turn around soon, he may instead start spending his evenings at home with a few friends and a hot pocket.
