With bloodshot eyes and a handle of whiskey in hand, Elon Musk announced at a morning press conference that he has found another potentially more profitable use for his Tesla electric motors.
“The concept is simple,” Musk explained, “We’ll lather up Bezos’ Balls real good with huge, soft scrubbers powered by Tesla motors.”
Musk said he believed this effectively addresses investors’ concerns about the future of the company.
“I’d like to do the Bezos Balls in Seattle as a first pass,” Musk said. “We’ve got some experience cleaning balls at Tesla, so we’re good to go.”
Musk went on to explain that his concept could then be expanded to cylindrical-shaped buildings and that sales of washers would no doubt solve Tesla’s problems acquiring capital.
Most importantly, the tech tycoon said it would get those damn short sellers “to shut the hell up.”
In the meantime, Musk said Tesla will be working on a miniature under-desk version for those back-to-back nights and days at the office, very far from home.
(Photo of Elon Musk by Steve Jurvetson; alterations made to original work licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license; “Musk at the 2015 Tesla Motors Annual Meeting”)
