Surrendering to the rising tide of high rents, one Green Lake couple has made a last-resort decision to pack up their paddle boards and make a six-mile escape to Shoreline.
The couple enjoyed five peaceful years in the enviably walkable Seattle neighborhood, flush with overpriced lattes and frozen yogurt, at a rent most of the metro area’s minority population hasn’t been able to afford since ever. But when an influx of economic privilege-stripping tech workers established strongholds in neighborhoods throughout the city, the couple’s budget was bombed with a $200 rent hike.
“It’s just a matter of time before it gets worse. We need to get out while we’re still financially alive,” said Chad Denny as he watched his girlfriend organize cardboard boxes for the movers to pick up early this morning. “Where we’ll get our Menchie’s now, I just don’t know.”
The couple will remain within a half-mile of several public transportation options, but likely endure a 15 minute increase in their commute time.
“I’m going to need to go back to therapy over this even though I already know, as a man, I am enough — but am I?” Denny said before breaking into tears and shout-sobbing at his girlfriend. “I’m calling this afternoon to make appointments for both of us!”
At press time, sources could not confirm whether the appointments had been made as the couple was drowning in too much of their future neighborhood’s quality Korean BBQ and bibimbap to any longer give a shit.
