In an absurd and inexplicable turn of events, today local city government watchdog journalist Hannah Krieg said Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell accidentally included her in an AOL group chat about a deliberately ruthless upcoming sweep of a homeless encampment.
“At first I thought someone was trolling me with a fake story for The Burner, the independent Seattle news publication I’m launching April 7,” said Krieg, former city government reporter for The Stranger. “But then I knew it was real when saw a bunch of people on the chat still calling Mayor Harrell’s niece and former deputy mayor Monisha Harrell ‘SDM Nazi.’ Once they started talking about which handguns they use to brandish at pregnant women and ‘Hispanic groups’ who ‘take’ their parking spots, there was no doubt.”
The AIM chat reportedly also included local Roy Cohn Tim “The Shark” Ceis, several cops and Andrea Suarez.
“Look, I usually avoid including women in important conversations, but I needed someone to take notes and she said she would take notes,” said Mayor Harrell in his defense. “Also, I thought the screen name HannahK_TheBurner0407 meant it was a burner account, so naturally I thought it was someone working for the Mayor’s Office.”
At press time, the AIM chat was still going on talking about how We Heart Seattle can get back into stealing the identities of homeless people whose tents they’ve swept while Krieg continued to take notes for her next TikTok report in invisible mode.
