After attending his first meeting today, new DSA member Troy Haskell said he couldn’t help but wonder when the Downtown Seattle Association started hating capitalism so much.
“If I’m being honest, they kind of sounded like straight-up socialists,” said Haskell, still sporting a red DSA rose pin on his blazer lapel. “All they could talk about was affordable housing, labor rights, and not being a fan of Washington being the second-most tax-regressive state in the country. They also weirdly think more cops and incarceration aren’t the way to increase public safety just because decades of research and the current reality of many other safer countries back that up. Maybe the local GEO Group lobbyists and white supremacists running the Seattle Police Officers Guild were just out sick today or something.”
Haskell also felt it was weird that everyone at the meeting seemed genuinely committed to actions that dismantle systemic racism and sexism like protesting and passing Prop 1A, not just saying they’re against those things as a lip service so no one notices how actually Republican they are in pretty much every way.
“I’m gonna assume they knew they were being filmed by some leftist organization because I can’t think of a single other reason they wouldn’t instead be dedicating the entire meeting to getting rid of minimum wage laws,” Haskell said. “If Uber can simultaneously circumvent labor laws while nickel and diming our community’s most financially vulnerable people, it’s only fair that other business owners get to do the same. As all the Downtown RTO shows, quality of life for everyone is not what matters—only the quality of life of Downtown business owners who mostly live Bellevue. I guess Sara Nelson and whatever Uber intern writes up her legislation and press releases were out sick today too.”
Despite the unexpected hate of capitalism on display, Haskell admitted that after hearing someone say “capitalism is just socialism for the rich” he started wondering when he started liking socialism so much.
