With just a little time left for Seattle residents to vote on which social housing proposition they prefer by Tuesday, Feb. 11, Amazon reiterated its concerns that Prop 1A’s tax on wealthy corporations would take away money it’s saving to donate to Trump’s third presidential inauguration.
“We’ve already had to dump hundreds of thousands of dollars supporting Prop 1B along with other local corporations like Microsoft and real estate companies that have been using predatory rent price-fixing software because literally no one else would fund its promotion,” said Amazon CEO Andy Jassy. “If Prop 1A passes and there’s a new tax on super-wealthy local corporations to fund the same affordable social housing model that’s been a giant success in Vienna, Austria, we’re just afraid it’s going to take away from all the money we were planning on spending at President Trump’s coronation—I mean third presidential inauguration. He wants an ermine cape, jewel-encrusted crown, and Jafar’s scepter from Aladdin, so we just can’t afford to do both as a small, local, multi-trillion-dollar business.”
Amazon says Prop 1B is a better social housing option because it doesn’t create a new tax on wealthy corporations and instead draws from a city affordable housing fund the mayor and city council has already stolen funds from to pay police giant salary increases and bonuses and other budget shortfalls it refuses to fund in any other way.
“We like Prop 1B because it makes us look like we’re supportive of social housing while knowing full well this option will also make it impossible for it to have enough money to ever become a reality,” Jassy said. “Besides, why pursue a true social housing option when you could let us build and be the landlord for the next generation of affordable housing? Nothing says compassion and commitment to community like Amazon and our close friends we’re doing our best to buy at the Trump administration.”
At press time, Amazon and Mayor Bruce Harrell confirmed that if Prop 1B beats Prop 1A, they commit to generously naming one whole small affordable housing building Social Housing Pledge Apartments.
