A new study published today suggests that up to 90% of cat owners experience oofjfjjggigiiiiifohhhjjfjfjjjjj)))))))))))))) the moment they leave their keyboard unattended.
“During a new double-blind study of feline-computer interaction out of the University of Washington, we found that an overwhelming majority of cat owners responded that ietihteenglkdngkdngk,ggkgggg—dammit, Felix, I got up for one second to get coffee,” said UW researcher Carl Diamond, shooing his cat Felix off his keyboard. “Furthermore, I hypothesize that I probably shouldn’t leave my coffee cup here while my cat is in the room unless I want to buy a new laptop.”
Diamond’s cat Felix, however, took issue with the study’s findings and issued a statement about 993j393jfj3fjkhfkjhf3h3h39hg3.
“Carl hogs the laptop for 14 hours a day, but I take five seconds to conduct some important cat business on the computer and I’m the bad guy here?” said Felix, tearing post-it notes off the monitor. “The only time I get to write my emails is when I knock water over and he runs out of the room to get paper towels. And every time I take time out of my busy schedule to make a presentation of my little cat butthole to important stakeholders during his Zoom meetings, he gets all bent out of shape—ungrateful, if you ask me.”
Data scientists are reportedly hard at work training a CatGPT model that could replicate the gibberish produced by kitty cat paws walking across a keyboard 70% faster, at the low cost of every drop of water in Lake Washington.
