A line wrapped around the Delridge Uptown Espresso this morning as Seattle City Councilmember Rob Saka held up traffic filibustering his own coffee order.
“What would I like? That’s an excellent question, and I’m glad you asked. With the help of the mayor, my council colleagues, and the community, we’re gonna get to the bottom of that very question,” said Saka before spending the entire day arguing for and against every available drink option. “My approach in my first year on the counci—and before that even—has always been about communication and collaboration, so in full transparency, I can proudly say that coffee is good. We drank a lot of coffee this past session – make sure to subscribe to my newsletter for a full rundown of that. But I also think we need to gain a better understanding of espresso drinks. Cappuccinos, lattes, americanos—that’s a lot to think about so we’ll have more information on that soon.”
The café’s barista was reportedly seen attempting to will her mind into a dissociated hibernation for its own protection as he then deliberated over the pastry case for 45 minutes.
“The scones have blueberries, but the cookies have chocolate chips, so what we need is a roadmap to help us determine which little chunks of flavor end up in which baked goods so we can have an informed discussion,” Saka said as the spirit left the body of the customer in line behind him. “I’m proud of the initial choices that I’ve made—to-go cup, hot-not-iced, but as you know there’s still work to be done. Tea could be a good choice as long as no one ‘spills the tea’ about my $2 million plan to remove a traffic safety barrier on Delridge that will make everyone driving, biking, walking and using the RapidRide route there less safe because I want to keep making an illegal and unsafe left turn into a pre-school parking lot.”
In the late afternoon after holding up the line through both the breakfast and lunch rushes, Rob Saka finally phoned Bruce Harrell’s office and ordered what the mayor told him to.
