Today Washington state’s new gold-chained governor, Bob Ferguson, spent his first full day in office on Joe Rogan’s podcast to explain why he’s against a wealth tax that his three-term predecessor Jay Inslee, both Democratic state majority leaders, and most of the state supports.
“Why am I against a 1% tax on wealth over $100 million and for budget cuts on everything except law enforcement to close a $12 billion budget shortfall? Well, I guess I’m just super-masculine like that–and all while being a good boy who does what his richest donors want him to,” said Ferguson tipping back in his chair with a cigar. “Don’t worry ladies: I’m still pro-choice, pro-corporations paying less on maternity leave, and pro my wife never having to find out what happens between us–I’m not trying to Gov. Schwarzenegger this first term, if you know what I’m saying. The only kind of open betrayal I’m into everyone knowing about is the kind that fucks over all the progressives who voted for and expected way better from me.”
Ferguson said that just because he spent the majority of his Wednesday inaugural address as governor making overtures to Republicans who supported Trump’s re-election, it doesn’t mean he’s signaling how much he’s willing to bend over for Trump’s next administration and the billionaire oligarchs lining up to benefit from it.
“I’m still a Democrat–just a fiscally conservative one who looks at the state budget like a family budget, and families can’t just tax their way out of budget issues, right? No, they take a hard look at their budget and decide none of the children are going to college, which is all I’m doing to your kids–definitely not mine, just yours,” Ferguson said. “So there may be a lot of local tech jobs that aren’t going to your kids in the future, but don’t worry–I hear we’re getting plenty more H1B visa workers for Microsoft and Amazon from countries that do fully fund their children’s way better public educations. See, Joe? I’m not further enabling oligarchy and police militarization under the Trump administration at all.”
At press time, the 3,400 residents the wealth tax would apply to–less than a half percent of the state’s 7.8 million population–confirmed that Ferguson was making the right move because this adventurous, emerald geographic gem packed with the most talented, college-educated per-capita people in the country not paying any state income tax has zero leverage to get them to stay and ever pay that tax.
