Hoping to keep its giant decorative skeleton gravy train going through Thanksgiving, today The Home Depot announced it’s now selling enormous 12-foot Turkey Carcass Skeletons.
“We’ve been searching for a product to bridge the seasons between Halloween’s 12-Foot Skeleton and Christmas’ Giant Inflatable Santa That Always Falls Over and Looks Like It’s Twerking, and I think we’ve finally found it with our new Giant Turkey Carcass,” said Home Depot CEO Edward Decker, trying not to get distracted by a nearby twerking Santa. “We originally wanted to go with 12-Foot Native American Burial Ground, but eventually realized it probably wouldn’t be as tasteful as a giant turkey carcass skeleton.”
Home Depot customer Mark Clausen was reportedly thrilled about the newest addition to his giant lawn ornament collection.
“My 12-foot Turkey carcass is going to go perfectly with the rest of my seasonal holiday lawn décor collection,” said Clausen, gesturing to his yard overflowing with giant decorations. “Let’s see, we’ve got St. Patrick’s Day covered with the ‘12-Foot Vomiting Man with 1/16th Irish Heritage’, ‘12-Foot Hand with a Few Fingers Missing’ for 4th of July, and my personal favorite, ‘12-Foot Flaming Constitution’ for Trump’s inauguration day.”
At press time, Lowe’s announced their plan to compete with Home Depot’s new Thanksgiving decoration with their own 12-Foot Racist Uncle statue.
