A new poll out today revealed a majority of Seattle residents actually wouldn’t mind if the eight drooling zombies on the City Council asked for brains.
“I know I’m supposed to be scared of zombies, but I’m actually way more scared by the thought of a majority of the city council finalizing next year’s city budget without any evidence they have functioning brains,” said Seattle resident and civic nerd Lance Delbrook. “I’ve actually been trying to give them a piece of my mind all year but no dice. Since when do brainless zombies not want brains?”
The lone brain-possessing non-zombie on the council, Tammy Morales, said she’s also tried to help especially her freshman zombie colleagues who clearly have no ability to coordinate or write any decent legislation of any political persuasion at any respectable pace.
“Look, I’d give half my right frontal lobe to not listen to Cathy Moore publicly huff and puff at me in these brainless 10-minute tirades she can’t quit doing despite the fact that I basically have no progressive voting power on this conservative council,” said Morales. “Unfortunately, I think part of the problem is they’re filling up on police guild brains, which are about as empty as the sprinkle donut calories in their breakrooms. I don’t think all the assholes they’re eating are helping either.”
At press time, a vacuous Tanya Woo currently running to keep her appointed city council position this fall was once again opening up a Q & A with reporters at her own press conference about her own legislation even though she had no ability to answer any specific questions about it.
