After weeks of hearing it happen to just about every other leaf in the city, one local fallen leaf still on the ground by itself started to wonder today if he was the only one in the city who hadn’t been blown yet.
“I’ve listened to hours and hours of leaf-blowing going on around the neighborhood for two months now, and I’m starting to think I’m literally the only leaf in the city it hasn’t happened to yet,” said the soggy leaf. “I mean, I’ve been blown a little bit by a soft breeze, but without getting any bag action I don’t know if it really counts. And, look, we all want to be blown and then sucked into oblivion, so I’m happy for them—but do they really have to be that loud about it? It’s just rude.”
The leaf said that if his area doesn’t have any good leaf blowers available, he’s also very open to getting raked.
“I don’t really care how many mowed lawns it’s run through, I’m just looking for any sort of friction where I can get it at this point,” the leaf said. “I hear rakes are more quiet, polite, efficient and environmentally friendly anyway. Push come to shove, I guess I’d be fine with just clogging a storm drain.”
At press time, it was confirmed that in addition to literally every other leaf being blown in the city, so had every ear drum.
