A local family returning from vacation this week was left astonished when they discovered an unattended Netflix fireplace in their living room had burned through 300 hours of nature documentaries including March of the Penguins, The Hidden Life of Trees and Kung Fu Panda.
“This Netflix Fireplace for Your Home: Birchwood Edition is ripping through nature documentaries faster than reverse psychology made me binge Nobody Wants This,” said Justine Watkins squinting at the out-of-control fireplace inferno stuck on their television. “Our Netflix fireplace used to be so calm and cozy, but after tearing through hundreds of hours of documentaries about climate change, it’s just raging and only seems to want more information about how to save the environment. Can’t blame it though: According to our Netflix watched list we checked online, it just finished consuming An Inconvenient Truth and Blackfish.”
Watkins says they expect to get the Netflix fireplace under control within a day or two.
“We’re hoping David Attenborough’s soothing voice calms it down a little as it burns through every episode of Our Planet and Life in Color,” Watkins said. “But if we really need to get the waterworks going to put this fire out, we know there’s always My Octopus Teacher.”
At press time, the Watkins family was attempting to lull the Netflix fireplace to sleep by adding Planet Earth to their account’s watching queue.
