This week Seattle Times columnist Danny Westneat lauded the city for achieving a 100% reduction of homelessness within Westneat’s own immediate line of sight.
“From where I sit, gazing out at our scenic waterfront, I don’t see a single tent—so I’m just wondering why no one else in this ungrateful city is thanking Mayor Harrell for achieving this clear 100 percent reduction in homelessness yet,” wrote the columnist, whose mother is still hoping he achieves object permanence any day now. “I, for one, congratulate our civic leaders for solving this long-standing, primarily aesthetic problem.”
The columnist went on to praise Harrell for his aggressive increase in encampment sweeps, regardless of shelter availability, which Westneat assured his readers is the same thing as actually reducing homelessness.
“Everybody knows that when the tents disappear, so do the people who were sleeping in them, just like Mommy does when I cover my eyes,” Westneat continued. “So it actually also reduces the need for more shelter beds because those displaced people obviously don’t even exist anymore, which I think we can all agree is what we’re really going for here.”
In a follow-up column, Westneat went on to praise the city’s removal of benches as an ingenious solution to its people-needing-to-sleep-on-benches problem.
