Today one brave, selfless man using an all-gender bathroom for the first time expressed concern for the safety of women now that he was in it.
“See, I pride myself on looking out for the ladies with or without their consent, and I’m just concerned women will no longer be safe using public restrooms like these now that I’m allowed in here,” said Andrew Brogan while looking in the mirror. “This is the problem with all this woke, all-gender bullshit: Now some creep who isn’t allowed to coach high school girls volleyball teams or talk to his niece anymore is in here.”
Brogan paced like a sentinel protecting any incoming women from being inappropriately engaged by himself before explaining what also makes these kinds of bathrooms unsafe for children.
“I just think especially young boys have always been safer using public bathrooms where strange grown men whip out their dicks at the urinals for all to see,” Brogan said. “That kind of bathroom was always definitely way less gay and all the way straight.”
At press time, several women thanked Brogan for his service and said they were now inspired to ask for bathrooms that everyone except straight, cis men like Brogan can use.
Photo by Ted Eytan with alterations from The Needling (CC BY-SA 2.0)
