Today organizers of this weekend’s annual Dick’s-a-thon run—benefitting local search and rescue groups and the Washington National Parks Fund—announced a new alternate route that is a just an endless loop between Capitol Hill’s Pony and The Cuff.
“Participants have always had the choice of running a full marathon, half marathon, and short Victory Lap while filling their mouths with Dick’s to their hearts content,” said organizer Brian Miller. “Today we’re hoping to get a few more people to join our non-profit fundraising cause with this new alternate nocturnal route that just loops you through Pony and The Cuff with optional nearby electrolyte and Dick’s 100% beef refill stations at Steamworks and Club Z until you pass out.”
Registration for the Dicks-a-thon has already doubled.
“It’s so nice we don’t have to go to North Seattle to join a run route anymore—I’m beginning my training tonight,” said Capitol Hill resident Gary Pickles. “Oh, who am I kidding? I’ve had this Strava route on my phone for ages—I’ve been training for this my whole life.”
At press time, run organizers said next year they may add another alternate Dick’s-a-thon route in South Lake Union for women who keep dating tech bros.
