Under pressure to condemn local sports super-fan and world-famous rapper Macklemore after he said ‘F- America’ at the Palestine Will Live Forever concert Saturday, this week the Mariners released a statement asking him to be less divisive and better at bringing people together like its longtime team sponsor Boeing.
“We just don’t know why he’s divisively saying ‘F- America’ when he could be uniting everyone with something people across the political spectrum agree on these days like ‘F- Boeing,’ our generous team sponsor,” said Mariners spokesman Hank Goodall. “In these politically charged times, we need to focus on what unites us, not divides us, like our shared terror every time we board a Boeing airplane, the way we all think Boeing definitely murders its whistleblowers, how we always knew those Starliner astronauts were screwed, and that Boeing’s irrationally greedy union-busting not only endangers our local economy but the entire nation’s airline and travel industries.”
Macklemore also released a statement today stating that—although he feels there’s more than enough justification to be angry at his country’s government these days—he could have been more thoughtful with his words.
“When I said ‘F- America,’ what I really meant was F- America rewarding a corrupt corporation like Boeing with billions of dollars we could be spending on living better lives here to instead enable the bombing of thousands of civilians including children in Palestine and Lebanon,” Macklemore posted in a note on Instagram. “That is truly something that I think unites us all as loving, conscientious Americans—especially, I’m sure, those of us who are ‘pro-life.’”
At press time, Mariners execs were debating whether to completely cut ties with him like the Seattle Kraken and Sounders already confirmed they would because his resolute stance against genocide may still be too divisive.
