According to a new and completely credible study worth talking about by a random AI-powered company we’re not gonna look into and explain too much about here, Seattle has officially been named the best city for pizza and for people looking to move a friendly and welcoming new city!
“Our carefully researched study definitely not done by some overworked, underpaid contract writer forced to use AI to write up some quick clickbait for our digital business sign company on a Tuesday afternoon found there’s no city in the country that does pizza better than Seattle,” said a post on the company’s blog. “One of the main criteria we used to determine this is how many times the local population regularly Googles where the best pizza is, a thing that is definitely the result of a plethora of good pizza and not thousands of people feverishly spending an umpteenth year trying to find good pizza in their city. By the same token, the record amounts of transplants in Seattle Googling ‘friends FRIENDS PLEASE WHERE? HOW?’ could only mean one thing to our AI bot, I mean human content space filler, I mean team of skilled data researchers: Seattle must be full of the friendliest and most welcoming people in the world!”
Although the honor seems to have surprised Seattle a bit, most reading about it agreed it had to be an accurate and well thought out study when Boston and Portland came in at second and third respectively for the same honors.
“At first I was like what? I thought we were only good at coffee. But when the study said Boston and Portland were next on the list for both best pizza and most welcoming to outsiders, I was like okay, these researchers clearly know what they’re talking about,” said Sam Wentworth as he bit into a $7 Ballard Pizza slice and then shrugged. “Glad to hear Portland is so welcoming to outsiders because I’m pretty sure the nicest thing we tell transplants here is to move there instead.”
At press time the study’s researchers also found that Seattle is the most progressive city in the country.
