As part of the Save Our Scarecrow fundraising campaign, Seattle’s last video store has made the difficult Hail Mary-decision to auction off its rare director’s cut of the Zapruder film.
“This is the holy grail of JFK assassination memorabilia,” said prospective bidder Warren Comish. “It’s got the deleted book depository scene, the Jack Ruby audio commentary, and a musical sing-along featurette with bouncing magic bullet. People who have seen it say the AI 4K upscale with Dolby Surround Sound makes it feel like being they’re right there on the grassy knoll. Sealed copies even come with a little squib so you can spray yourself with brain matter.”
Scarecrow Video is parting with their copy of the Zapruder film as part of a larger effort to raise enough money to secure their financial future.
“While we hate to part with such a unique piece of Americana and film history, it’s more important to ensure the longevity of Scarecrow and—if I’m being completely honest—I prefer Zapruder: Redux anyway,” said Scarecrow Store Manager Geri Dulac. “Scarecrow is a Seattle institution and an important part of our city’s film culture—It’s the only place in town you can find both Sister Act and The Sinful Nuns of St. Valentine. Also, if film nerds don’t have us as a place to mingle they’ll start talking with everyone else about obscure films again and make them start wanting a convertible tour of Dallas themselves.”
Other items Scarecrow is auctioning off this Saturday at its Parking Lot Sale include the restored Magnificent Ambersons and the taxidermied stars of Homeward Bound.
