While the world is distracted by the Paris Olympic games beginning this week, today FIFA quietly announced that the six 2026 World Cup games slated to played in Seattle will now be filmed in Vancouver.
“I recently found out that my favorite television program, Grey’s Anatomy, which is set in Seattle, is actually filmed in Vancouver—could have fooled me! Same with the 50 Shades of Grey movies and, as a money whore with not a shred of integrity, that really got me thinking,” said FIFA President Gianni Infantino. “Why can’t we do that with sports? We’ll get some B-roll of the Space Needle from Kerry Park and Pike Place Market fish throwing call it a day. Actually, wait—just found discount stock footage of the Vancouver Lookout and a random seafood stand at Granville Market that I’m sure will work just as well for $50 cheaper—man, I’m so worth $5 million a year.”
The move disappointed people across Seattle who were as excited about hosting the World Cup matches as they were to complain about hosting World Cup matches.
“FIFA got our hopes up about spending an entire summer complaining about traffic gridlock, punching people holding umbrellas, and saying ‘you didn’t see nothing’ on our most beautiful days,” said Seattle resident Matthew Michaels as he stood outside of the Pike Place Starbucks just to loudly sigh at people waiting in line for it. “Oh well. At least we can all still indulge in other pastimes like complaining about things that say they’re in Seattle but are actually filmed in Vancouver.”
FIFA also said the World Cup Final scheduled to be played in New Jersey will now be advertised as being in New York and then filmed in Toronto.
