Thousands converged upon The Gorge Labor Day Weekend for their annual pilgrimage to see if singer Dave Matthews would see his shadow—and he did, predicting six more weeks of summer!
“It sometimes takes all weekend for him to notice,” said DMB fan Perry Topsider. “But we got lucky this year because tonight, about halfway through the ‘All Along the Watchtower’ encore, he turned back to tell Carter something and let me tell you – when he saw his shadow in the spotlight, I think he would have jumped out of his shirt if it wasn’t sweated to his body.”
Back in Seattle, reception of the news summer would last another month and half was more bleak.
“See, this is why so many people in Seattle hate Dave Matthews,” said local Gilmore Girls and pumpkin spice fan Chelsea Lawton as she winced at sunlight coming through a window. “True Seattleites will the demise of this season as soon as it can come, but oh no, every Labor Day Weekend Dave Matthews has to summon the Gods with he and his devoted fan base’s sunny dispositions to convince warmer weather to stick around longer. Other than that, though, love the guy. Crash Into Me and Free Palestine any day.”
At press time, Washington DNR confirmed they would be blaming all late-season droughts and wildfires on Matthews.
Photo “Odesza, The Last Goodbye, The Gorge Amphitheater” by Iamblukas (CC by 2.0)
