King County GOP darling, landlord who’s not a big fan of Juneteenth BBQs, homeless shelter plan killer, affordable housing plan destroyer and currently appointed Seattle City Councilmember Tanya Woo told reporters today after the most recent August primary ballot drop that she couldn’t be more excited for the city’s voters to tell her by another wide margin to fuck off for the fourth time straight this fall.
“Democracy is on the ballot this fall, and that means I’m about to get my ass handed to me harder than the first three times I ran for a Seattle City Council seat—isn’t that exciting?!” said Woo while celebrating with Council colleague and big business lackey Sara Nelson, who also can’t wait for her turn to be told to fuck off forever too next year. “I soundly lost both my first primary and then general election against Tammy Morales for District 2, and then this most recent citywide Position 8 primary up against Alexis Mercedes Rinck by 10 points. So, with any luck this fall, Seattle voters are about to hand me my biggest fuck you yet with a loss that—combined with supporters from other progressive candidates—could be up to 20 points.”
Six other conservative Seattle City Council colleagues who were elected to their four-year terms last fall during the lowest voter turnout election in state history—Cathy Moore, Bob Kettle, Rob Saka, Maritza Rivera, Dan Strauss and Joy Hollingsworth—said they were jealous they have to wait so much longer for Seattle voters to give them two giant middle fingers on their way out.
“All six of us have 1) spent months trying to repeal minimum wage laws while 2) successfully defunding libraries to hand giant retroactive raises to a police department that hires drunk drivers who’ve been kicked out of Arizona so they can kill our pedestrians without consequence 3) approving a contract with a privately run jail in South King County that’s twice as deadly to inmates than Rikers, 4) are working on criminalizing sex workers instead of just their clients again 5)limiting public comment whenever possible—the list goes on. Do we really have to wait until 2027 to get booted out of here?” said Hollingsworth, who somehow represents Capitol Hill and Central District. “I’m hoping maybe the way we violated city law this week by refusing to vote on whether a signature-qualified social housing initiative could appear on the November ballot gives us a shot at being recalled much earlier.”
At press time, local light rail rider and sub Ryan Donnelly said Woo’s campaign has inspired him to run for a Seattle City Council seat next year on a platform of increasing public transit fare enforcement.
