Hunkered down in their bespoke panic room, one Broadmoor family said they aren’t taking their chances this Bastille Day despite living in an exclusive gated community.
“I don’t want to skip our annual Francophile fête just because income inequality is at boiling point of terror here in America while the French celebrate their own triumph over right-wing oligarchs, ” said Broadmoor mom Charlotte Darcy as she slathered a baguette with butter that was imported specially for the day. “Bastille Day isn’t just about revolution–It’s also about wine and snacks on an Instagram post-worthy charcuterie board spread.”
Cowering in the corner, her daughter Margot reviewed the pronunciation she had learned earlier at a private French Immersion Preschool.
“Ma maman says we are to stay dans la chambre just in case the unhoused make their way up the hill, but I don’t mind as long as there are madeleine cookies and old episodes of TinTin to watch on my iPad!”
To be safe, the family will reportedly remain in the bunker, feasting on traditional French cuisine until they leave for their summer chateau in Provence in early August.
