Homeowners in Leschi were stunned to receive written notices from their HOA last week warning that their “In this house we believe” signs do not comprehensively enough list a stance against every possible problem in the world.
“Yes, we know our neighbors are anti-racist feminist LGBTQ+ allies who believe in science and support humane immigration policies,” explains HOA President Cheryl Danvers. “But I just don’t feel comfortable living next door to someone who has not made clear their positions on Gaza, Ukraine, China, Kendrick Lamar, which Bob Ferguson they’re planning to vote for, or wide leg jeans.”
HOA members report difficulty in complying with these previously unenforced bylaws.
“I remember when you could get by with a simple ‘Black Lives Matter’ or even a ‘Support the Troops’,” said resident Marty Buchanan. “Hell, there was a time when a good ol’ American flag was enough, but now you gotta keep up with the times. Thank God they make these signs that come right off the shelf preloaded with my complete belief system. Of course it’s a tragedy what’s happening overseas right now and my HOA is right to demand I take a clear stance on it, but it seems like corporate negligence that Amazon didn’t sell me the sign with a bold yet agreeable position already clearly articulated.”
We did speak to the owner of one house who managed to enumerate every conceivable position on a 100 foot tall billboard on their front lawn, but they were unfortunately later penalized for exceeding HOA height restrictions.
