Excitement over the opening of Shoreline light rail this August boiled over into a heated debate today at a Shoreline City Council meeting over who’s turn it is to hold the giant chainsaw at the station’s ribbon-cutting ceremony.
“Councilmember Ramsdell already had his turn at the grand opening of the new oysters-only wing at Central Market – it’s my turn!” said Councilmember Keith Scully, who’d already grabbed dibs on the chainsaw and hardhat. “I haven’t had a turn since Jersey Mike’s opened. And Councilmember Mork already got to ride the jackhammer at the station groundbreaking.”
Councilmember Betsy Robertson pleaded for all of them to calm down and take a moment to remember why they really got into public service in the first place.
“Guys! Guys! This job is about more than bad photo ops,” said Councilmember Robertson. “Ha! Just kidding, I live for shitty, backlit iPhone photos of us cutting through giant ribbons that go totally viral online with as much as 12 Facebook likes—the chainsaw is rightfully mine!”
At press time, city councils in Mountlake Terrace and Lynnwood, which are also expecting new light rail station openings this August, reportedly were having similar fights over ribbon-cutting samurai swords and bayonets.
