As Sound Transit prepares to open the East Link light rail line in Bellevue and Redmond this weekend without a direct connection to Seattle due to construction complications, today local Seattle public transit fan Julian Han was reportedly forced to act like that was an incredibly unfortunate thing.
“Seattle and Bellevue have been quickly growing tech hubs for how long now and there somehow still isn’t a public transit line between them that cuts down on traffic and emissions? Ridiculous,” said Han, knowing full well he’d quit his job on the spot if he had to take a light rail trip for a meeting in Downtown Bellevue even once. “I personally am deeply disappointed in Sound Transit’s project management skills and definitely want them to improve so we can all go to the Eastside whenever we most definitely would want to, which is absolutely a lot.”
Han—a simultaneous advocate of building as many forms of public transit across the Seattle metro area as possible and avoiding the Eastside like the plague—went on to say how integral a light rail connection between the two cities is for the local economy.
“Obviously, that light rail connection would be more about giving Seattle residents an easier and faster way of visiting all the hip and happening places in Bellevue and Redmond, not just a quicker way to get the hell off a soulless tech campus as soon as possible,” Han said. “I think I speak for most Seattle residents who work on the Eastside when I say they probably definitely want less obstacles and excuses getting in the way of coming into the office more often during the week.”
At press time, reporters confirmed most Eastside public transit fans were also being forced to act like they wish they had easier ways of getting to Seattle to enjoy meals and coffee that don’t come from chain restaurants.
