After it was made official over the weekend that Gonzaga had once again made the cut for the NCAA’s March Madness brackets, today Spokane prepared to put its annual March Month of Relevance celebrations into full swing.
“For the next three weeks, it’s Spokane’s time to shine, baby! Eat it like the Garbage Goat, Seattle!” said Spokane Mayor Lisa Brown, flipping off the camera in head-to-toe Gonzaga Bulldogs gear. “Oh, it looks like your wittle UDub basketball program didn’t make the cut again—we wouldn’t know what it’s like since we’ve made every tournament since 1999, losers. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to put up billboards around town so the national media doesn’t think we’re in Idaho.”
While the Eastern Washington hub was relishing its brief window of annual relevance on the national stage, thousands of people across the country were finally learning where Gonzaga was again.
“Oh, Gonzaga is in Spokane? I always thought it was just some made-up private school, like Hogwarts or Xavier,” said Ohio resident Tom Byard. “Well, good for them for making it into their basketball tournament again. Everyone in the office gets very excited for exactly two days until their bracket gets busted. Although—between you and me—I don’t see how impressive this tournament could be if they let WSU in this year.”
By press time, your co-worker had announced that they don’t watch college basketball and will pick winners based on vibes, but will somehow win the office March Madness bracket for the 4th consecutive year.
