Upon hearing the news of Seattle Seahawks’ Head Coach Pete Carrol’s departure, Seattle mom Kathy Davis, 78, is encouraging her unemployed son Patrick, 34, to reach out to the Seahawks’ HR Department.
“You would be perfect for this job,” said Kathy in a Facebook Messenger IM. “You may not have all of the experience, but you can come over for dinner and Dad can explain the rules to you.”
Davis punctuated her suggestion with a string of emojis including a football, a white bird, a smiley face, and an eggplant.
“You were a Shift Lead at Starbucks on Capitol Hill—now that’s a COACH!” said Kathy. “I know you got fired for that little incident, but that’s why you need to call their HR and explain. They just need to see how wonderful you are.”
Patrick Davis—who has not watched football since 2014 when the Seahawks were in the Super Bowl and local gay bar CC’s showed the game instead of RuPaul’s Drag Race–has not yet replied to his mother’s suggestion.
“I’ve told Mom a million times that I’m not into sports,” said Davis. “I mean, I know Russell Wilson is cute and all, but I can’t even name any of the other players.”
At press time, Davis was entering “Seahawks Coach” on the Washington State Unemployment website as a required job search contact.
