After a week of debating whether it was really worth it for advocates of a ceasefire in Palestine to shut down I-5 near Downtown Seattle, today local civil disobedience expert Chad Henry confirmed once and for all that waving a tiny flag from your own home is a way more effective form of protest.
“Blocking traffic just isn’t the way to win hearts and minds,” said Henry. “If you really want to make an impact and finally convince people that our country spending billions to slaughter tens of thousands of innocent civilians is a bad thing, there’s nothing quite like doing something quietly in your own home that doesn’t bother or inconvenience anyone. I recommend waving a tiny flag placed on a toothpick, but be sure to do it locked in the bathroom by yourself because, if you live with people, your kitchen and living room are still far too public a space. You could completely destroy your cause, turn the people you live with into genocidal maniacs—and it’ll all be your fault.”
Asked if people even have hearts and minds if they can sit by and not do a single thing for three months to stop thousands of children from literally getting their brains blown out, Henry said blocking commercial thoroughfares in a capitalist society is still a really bad idea.
“If the only thing that matters to someone is money, you’re definitely not gonna want to do anything that would contribute to them losing money,” Henry said. “Because it would make them really mad. Really annoyed. They might even start doing the math and realizing not supporting a ceasefire is turning into more trouble than it’s worth financially, which is pretty stressful and time consuming. If you really think you’re such a good person and an advocate for peace, do you really want that sort of thing on your conscience? Didn’t think so.”
At press time, Henry was re-posting as many Martin Luther King Jr. quotes about peace on social media as possible, reminding everyone that there’s always a better way to protest things than leading a march because they totally have never helped lead to things like the passage of a voting rights or civil rights bill or something.
