The Cleveland-born founder of the Seattle SuperThawNics — a new support group for lonely transplants unable to navigate their new home’s frigid, post-apocalyptic streets alone — says he’s putting an end to the Seattle Freeze once and for all.
“It’s been really refreshing to warm our frostbitten flesh in an inviting environment after suffering the piercing cold of Seattle society,” Cliff Thompson told The Needling. “We’ve got members from California, Texas, even a guy from Melbourne all in the same room not looking up from their phones together.”
Sydney Mathews, a SuperThawNics regular, looks forward to her weekly meetup where she enjoys aimlessly browsing Pinterest in the same general vicinity of other people. Mathews recently moved to Seattle after accepting an HR position at Amazon, but found it difficult to adjust after moving from her lifelong hometown of Brant, Ind.
“I’m just saddened that Seattle didn’t immediately provide the lifelong connections I forged through twenty years of interactions with family, friends and schooling that I had in my hometown,” Sydney mumbled, unable to gauge her speaking volume while airpods played in her ears. “I don’t actually want to talk to any of the people here, but if they could spark a conversation I could then escape from at the earliest possible moment, that would be nice.”
When asked why the interaction-starved community doesn’t merely speak with each other, Mathews ignored the question, pretended to pat his pockets as if he forgot something, and walked off in the other direction.
