Despite the value of the Blue Angels’ annual Seafair Airshow becoming increasingly divisive in Seattle, the entire city came together today to thank the fleet’s impressive smoke trails for giving the area its first overcast weekend in a long time.
“The endless string of beautiful, sunny weekends blaring into my window at the crack of dawn beckoning me to come outside and live my life to the fullest? Honestly, it was getting kind of old,” said Seattle resident Becca Higgins. “I may not be the biggest fan of those planes giving me a heart attack every time they fly over my home or the way they glorify the overfunded military industrial complex. But I have to say, it was nice to sleep in until 10 a.m. for the first time in three months. Thanks, Blue Angels!”
Many other introverted shut-ins-at-heart across the city also found themselves surprised to appreciate the Blue Angels service this weekend.
“In the absence of any real rainstorm happening anytime soon, I just kept waiting for fire season to show up instead so I can stay inside guilt-free, but nooo—just one gorgeous day for a hike after another,” said Jason Parker, rolling his eyes. “Until finally the Blue Angels showed up! Turns out all we needed for a few days of respite from the sun was a fleet of Thunderbirds burning up about 250,000 pounds of jet fuel and releasing about 600 metric tons of carbon dioxide into the sky over us.”
At press time, most of the city was hoping enough smoke lingers over the city to cancel all of this week’s local National Pickleball Day tournaments.
