In what experts at democracy are calling a move of pure genius, local eligible voter Noah Clark is sitting out today’s local primary election so he can hate this November’s general election options enough to not vote in that either.
“When people tell me how important and crucial it is for the future of our city, county and state to vote later in November, I can’t wait to complain about the travesty of the limited options on the ballot, as if a primary with a million more ideologically diverse options I was completely eligible to participate in didn’t happen at all,” said Clark. “I get to sound like an intelligent cynic with a heart of ideologic purity all while not having to do anything – what’s not to love?”
After all, Clark says, voting isn’t the only way to change things for the better.
“Voting is like wearing a seatbelt – there are so many other ways to keep yourself safe while driving other than using a seatbelt, so why use it at all? Too hard,” Clark said. “And if you think reaching back and buckling a strap over your chest is hard, voting is wayyy harder: First you gotta take the ballot out of your own mailbox. Then you have to think and research about who you want to vote for—can’t believe how many losers over history have died for that simple right. Then you have to go all the way back to your own mailbox or a ballot dropbox likely within a mile of your home.”
At press time, Seattle City Council candidates Olga Sagan and Tanya Woo wanted everyone to know they came up with that non-voting strategy first.
