One transplant’s 10-year Seattle anniversary turned from nostalgic celebration to a source of anxiety today after he realized that he might have waited too long to ask how to pronounce Sequim.
“I forgot to ask when I first moved here, but if I ask now everyone will know that I don’t know how to pronounce it—and I can’t have a repeat of the ‘Pull Ya Up Fair’ incident,” said Tanner Lochlan, lowering his voice. “I don’t mean to be disrespectful about the Native names, it’s just a little intimidating when I come from a place called Townsville and the next neighborhoods over were called Lake Smith, Smith Lake, and New Smith Lake.”
But as anyone who has announced they are taking “The 5” to “SeaAttack Airport” knows, screwing up the local naming conventions can come at a costly price.
“Ah yes, I remember the day I butchered the pronunciation of ‘Mukilteo’—the humiliation was so great that I had to quit my job, change my identity and start over again in Rento—uh, I mean, Ren’n,” said Mitch Hardman, glancing around the room to see if anyone noticed his slip up. “That was a close one, I almost had to move out of Warshington.”
In related news, despite Washington state’s recent ban of the death penalty, today Governor Jay Inslee said that the capital punishment was still on the table for people who say “Pike’s Place Market.”
