The parents of Sound Transit were overheard howling with merriment tonight as they read the transportation agency’s letter to Santa Claus asking for operational escalators aloud to each other.
“Dear Santa, I have been a very good transit agency this year. Over 72.1% of my routes have been on time and I’ve been very good to my sister agency,” read ST’s father in a falsetto voice, pausing for breath several times as his spouse choked back peals of laughter. “How are you? Is it cold where you are? Do people tag your sleigh with ‘Lab Rat?’ This year, more than anything, I want 312 state-of-the-art vertical conveyance systems that can carry 245,000 people each day safely and has shiny balustrades, titanium steps, and real chain wheel tracks that can handle stray leaves and urine contamination.”
Sound Transit’s parents said they put the letter back in its envelope and dropped it in the mailbox while continuing to giggle.
“Honey, I can’t believe he thinks ‘Santa’ can get him that – he should’ve asked for a unicorn or something more realistic than an escalator that actually works,” ST’s mother said while wiping her eyes. “Let’s just get him a new Orca Reader and some more tracks for his train set. You know, if we did get him a new escalator he’d just break it right away. Maybe in 2031 he’d be old enough for something like that.”
They then slowly opened the door to look in on a sleeping Sound Transit while shaking their heads and chuckling.
